no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Randomize
