dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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