Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I think my moral compass just broke
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
