Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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