you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
