Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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