did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
