How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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