i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
