We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
