we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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