When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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