Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
