Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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