How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
