Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
