Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
