do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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