that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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