We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
