It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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