so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
