Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
