fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
