My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
