Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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