What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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