Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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