6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
