I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I think i got beer on your cat.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
