and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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