Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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