nut hugger
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
