Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
