He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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