So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
