You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
