the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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