You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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