now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
