He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
