He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Randomize
