At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
