I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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