I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
