This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize