So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
