so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
