Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
