I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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