This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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