I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
