I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
