Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Randomize
