so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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