the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize