new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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