i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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