How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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