You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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