I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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