Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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