So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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